Jim and I just got home from transfer and it didn't go nearly as well as the two of us had hoped. In fact it was pretty much a disaster. Dr. Thompson met with us about the results from our fertilization and we received no good news. When normal follicles meet with sperm, one sperm penetrates the nucleus and something (I'm not sure exactly what) prevents any other sperm from entering the same follicle. Immediately after the penetration the follicle is now considered an embryo and the embryo starts to divide into multiple cells. My follicles on the other hand do not follow this routine. Instead of letting one sperm cell inside they allow several sperm cells to enter. When this happens the embryos are not viable for transfer.
With that said I did have four follicles that only allowed one sperm cell to enter. Those embryos however did not divide at the normal rate and will most likely not survive. We did go ahead and transfer the two best embryos back into my uterus but our chances of them surviving are less then 5% (we would normally have a 65% chance if everything proceeded normally).
Needless to say both Jim and I were very upset. I feel like I lost at the IVF casino and my body let me down. How do you deal with knowing you will never have a biological child? We were told if we were to try again my follicles would follow the same path and it really wouldn't be worth our time. So our only option at this point is either adoption or donor eggs. I'm still not keen on the whole adoption idea as I want to fuck up my own child and not someone elses. I feel like a failure as a women not being able to bare children...
How do we move on????
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