Delay After Delay

Well here I sit with very little progress since my last update. It's been a very emotional week and frankly I'm a wreck and in a deep depression. My estrogen levels continue to be sporadic and the Cetrotide has slowed my follicle growth to a snails pace. I had a few days when my estrogen began to stabilize and Dr. Surrey was comfortable enough to place me back on my primary stimulation drugs in an attempt to try and speed up their growth. Unfortunately after two days I once again began to hyperstimulate and I was pulled off of the medication. Thankfully, I don't feel physically sick this time as I did last week but without the synthetic stimulation my follicles won't grow much on their own. I still have about 12 follicles that they are monitoring closely and those are the follicles that we hope to "harvest" at retrieval. These follicles range anywhere from 14mm to 19mm.

So when is retrieval? I wish I knew, but at this point I have no clue. When I originally left New Mexico, retrieval was tentatively scheduled for Friday April 1st but now they are unable to give me a date. The doctors office continues to monitor me on a daily basis with blood work and ultrasounds but I still haven't been able to do the all important "trigger shot". After I preform the trigger shot than retrieval will be 35 hours later.

Since things have begun to progress slowly, Jim decided to go back to New Mexico. It was a tearful goodbye when he left and I broke down shortly thereafter. I have no idea when and/or if he will be returning to Denver, but he felt compelled to go back to work. I'm hoping he returns for retrieval but we can't say for sure...it all depends on if he can get additional time off from work. We do have a frozen sample at Dr. Surrey's office that we can resort to but a fresh sample is always better.

Currently I feel defeated and I feel like a failure. My ovaries aren't performing well and now my husband isn't here for emotional support. I've retreated to solitude in an attempt to shield myself from the outside world and I'm fearful that my dream is slowly slipping away...one follicle at a time.

Stay tuned.