The gumball machine has officially been emptied! And let me tell ya, it was certainly a gumball machine since my doctor removed 22 follicles from my ovaries. It's important to note that on my last IVF cycle, they were only able to retrieve 5 follicles...so this was definitely good news AND worth the wait!
As I laid on the gurney looking around the room I couldn't help but notice a stark difference between CCRM and Dr. Thompson's office. I guess this is the difference between a world class office and a mediocre office. This was certainly a night and day experience for both myself and Jim. CCRM felt more like a surgery center whereas Dr. Thompson's office felt like a doctors office. At Dr. Thompson's office I swear I was placed in stirrups, given an IV, and knocked out for retrieval. At CCRM I was completely hooked up to monitors and given IV fluids for an hour prior to retrieval. Than I was wheeled to an OR where retrieval took place. I actually awoke in a full recovery room where I stayed for an additional 2 hours before I was released!
Jim left Denver once again immediately following retrieval and I'll be making the rest of this journey on my own. If my follicles fertilize properly than retrieval should be on Monday, which means I will not be returning to work on Monday as scheduled. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this, especially considering I'm suppose to be on "vacation".
My estrogen levels continue to spike which means I'm still at a high risk of hyperstimulating. If I continue to hyperstimulate than it's possible that the rest of this cycle could be canceled and we would end up doing a frozen transfer at a later date when my estrogen levels out. Dr. Surrey ensured us that they have a 98% success rate on defrosting embryos. My ovaries are still in some pain and I feel really bloated. This is a direct result of the hyperstimulation so I'm on new medication and a very strict diet to try and combat these symptoms. In the meantime, I plan to spend another relaxing in our hotel room in front of the television.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Good To The Last Drop
My husband has one job and only one job in this process, to provide a plentiful and robust sample to be used to fertilize my follicles. Obtaining that sample can at times be a little tricky. Since I'm not a guy I don't fully understand the stress and anxiety that he feels when completing this task and something tells me I never will. In my view, this should be an easy and relaxing experience and rather enjoyable. Considering the tests that I had to go through his few minutes in a plastic cup should be a walk in the park. However, according to him, I'm dead wrong on this notion! Instead this is a completely stressful experience filled with dread.
Let me just put something out on the table...in case you've ever wondered, yes the "collection room" is equipped with dirty magazines and a few porn flicks to help speed up the process. I typically accompany Jim for his appointment. In an odd sort of husband and wife way, this is a tradition for the two of us. We each like to feel like we have walked the same experience and been by each others side through the whole process. I often wonder what the office staff thinks when the two of us show up together to do the deed. Not that the two of us really care since we'll never see these people again and it's not like we'll be bumping into them at the grocery store. But can you imagine what some of these staffers have seen working this job?
My job is simple, do a few things to speed him up and make sure that every drop gets into the cup! It's not a pleasant experience when you realize that you've missed...which we've done. I like to call this Good to the Last Drop...obliviously a play on the Folgers commercial, which often plays in my head. As we head into retrieval tomorrow I'm only concerned about Jim. I hope he can perform and I pray that he doesn't miss a drop! Did you know that the highest concentration of sperm is in the first few drops? Now ponder that one for a few hours.
Let me just put something out on the table...in case you've ever wondered, yes the "collection room" is equipped with dirty magazines and a few porn flicks to help speed up the process. I typically accompany Jim for his appointment. In an odd sort of husband and wife way, this is a tradition for the two of us. We each like to feel like we have walked the same experience and been by each others side through the whole process. I often wonder what the office staff thinks when the two of us show up together to do the deed. Not that the two of us really care since we'll never see these people again and it's not like we'll be bumping into them at the grocery store. But can you imagine what some of these staffers have seen working this job?
My job is simple, do a few things to speed him up and make sure that every drop gets into the cup! It's not a pleasant experience when you realize that you've missed...which we've done. I like to call this Good to the Last Drop...obliviously a play on the Folgers commercial, which often plays in my head. As we head into retrieval tomorrow I'm only concerned about Jim. I hope he can perform and I pray that he doesn't miss a drop! Did you know that the highest concentration of sperm is in the first few drops? Now ponder that one for a few hours.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Trigger Time!
Finally, after waiting almost an extra week I get to do my trigger shot tonight! I'll be wide awake at 1:30am to inject my butt with HCG. I'm really nervous about this particular injection though since it's a muscular injection rather than the sub-q injections that I've been use to. Typically Jim does this injection for me, but since he's not available than that leaves me to do the deed. I sure hope I can reach the pretty little "X" that marks the ideal spot on my butt.
I still have over 20 follicles brewing in the gumball machine with my right ovary doing most of the work. My right ovary has always been a high achiever with over 20 follicles on that side alone. Unfortunately not all of those follicles are of mature size, but about 12 of those follicles will be a good size. My left ovary has been a little lazy and we only have about 15 follicles on that side, 8 of which should be a good size to work with.
Retrieval is scheduled for Wednesday and I'm toying with the idea of leaving Denver for a few days and heading back to New Mexico until transfer. My stay in Denver has cost my wallet much more than I originally anticipated and I think a few days back home will be a welcomed relief to my bank account. Obliviously I'll have to check with the office prior to making this decision, but I was wide awake at 3am debating this one. Not to mention I could use a few extra days with my husband.
Well please pray for me tonight so that I can magically hit the bulls eye on my butt!
I still have over 20 follicles brewing in the gumball machine with my right ovary doing most of the work. My right ovary has always been a high achiever with over 20 follicles on that side alone. Unfortunately not all of those follicles are of mature size, but about 12 of those follicles will be a good size. My left ovary has been a little lazy and we only have about 15 follicles on that side, 8 of which should be a good size to work with.
Retrieval is scheduled for Wednesday and I'm toying with the idea of leaving Denver for a few days and heading back to New Mexico until transfer. My stay in Denver has cost my wallet much more than I originally anticipated and I think a few days back home will be a welcomed relief to my bank account. Obliviously I'll have to check with the office prior to making this decision, but I was wide awake at 3am debating this one. Not to mention I could use a few extra days with my husband.
Well please pray for me tonight so that I can magically hit the bulls eye on my butt!
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Delay After Delay
Well here I sit with very little progress since my last update. It's been a very emotional week and frankly I'm a wreck and in a deep depression. My estrogen levels continue to be sporadic and the Cetrotide has slowed my follicle growth to a snails pace. I had a few days when my estrogen began to stabilize and Dr. Surrey was comfortable enough to place me back on my primary stimulation drugs in an attempt to try and speed up their growth. Unfortunately after two days I once again began to hyperstimulate and I was pulled off of the medication. Thankfully, I don't feel physically sick this time as I did last week but without the synthetic stimulation my follicles won't grow much on their own. I still have about 12 follicles that they are monitoring closely and those are the follicles that we hope to "harvest" at retrieval. These follicles range anywhere from 14mm to 19mm.
So when is retrieval? I wish I knew, but at this point I have no clue. When I originally left New Mexico, retrieval was tentatively scheduled for Friday April 1st but now they are unable to give me a date. The doctors office continues to monitor me on a daily basis with blood work and ultrasounds but I still haven't been able to do the all important "trigger shot". After I preform the trigger shot than retrieval will be 35 hours later.
Since things have begun to progress slowly, Jim decided to go back to New Mexico. It was a tearful goodbye when he left and I broke down shortly thereafter. I have no idea when and/or if he will be returning to Denver, but he felt compelled to go back to work. I'm hoping he returns for retrieval but we can't say for sure...it all depends on if he can get additional time off from work. We do have a frozen sample at Dr. Surrey's office that we can resort to but a fresh sample is always better.
Currently I feel defeated and I feel like a failure. My ovaries aren't performing well and now my husband isn't here for emotional support. I've retreated to solitude in an attempt to shield myself from the outside world and I'm fearful that my dream is slowly slipping away...one follicle at a time.
Stay tuned.
So when is retrieval? I wish I knew, but at this point I have no clue. When I originally left New Mexico, retrieval was tentatively scheduled for Friday April 1st but now they are unable to give me a date. The doctors office continues to monitor me on a daily basis with blood work and ultrasounds but I still haven't been able to do the all important "trigger shot". After I preform the trigger shot than retrieval will be 35 hours later.
Since things have begun to progress slowly, Jim decided to go back to New Mexico. It was a tearful goodbye when he left and I broke down shortly thereafter. I have no idea when and/or if he will be returning to Denver, but he felt compelled to go back to work. I'm hoping he returns for retrieval but we can't say for sure...it all depends on if he can get additional time off from work. We do have a frozen sample at Dr. Surrey's office that we can resort to but a fresh sample is always better.
Currently I feel defeated and I feel like a failure. My ovaries aren't performing well and now my husband isn't here for emotional support. I've retreated to solitude in an attempt to shield myself from the outside world and I'm fearful that my dream is slowly slipping away...one follicle at a time.
Stay tuned.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Hyper Ovaries
Just when I think things are going well with no complications, my ovaries have decided that the medication regimen I'm on is their new best friend. I wish this was good news, but the fact is my ovaries are in a mild form of hyperstimulation. I guess this means that I have to many gumballs in the machine and frankly my ovaries are freaking out and throwing my estrogen levels in a dangerous tailspin. Thankfully, my doctor is pretty confident that they can control the OHSS and prevent my estrogen from reaching the dangerous 5,000 level (currently my estrogen is over 3,000).
When I awoke this morning not feeling well I just assumed that the medication was kicking my butt. I had my usual ultrasound and blood work this morning and I originally had plans to drive to Fort Collins today but I was so nauseous that I decided to stay in town for the day. Later this afternoon I received a call from Dr. Surrey's office stating that I was beginning to hyperstimulate and that they needed to change my medication. They have since pulled me completely off the Lupron and Gonal-F and started me on a new medication called Cetrotide. The Cetrotide is supposed to prevent an early release of my follicles and help control my estrogen levels. I was given two doses and now I just need to hope and pray that things stabilize in these hyper little ovaries that I have.
A part of me isn't surprised by any of this considering I've always been one to progress at a hurried pace. I actually consider Alabama's "I'm In A Hurry" as my personal theme song for how I live my life. Goodness, maybe I just need to give my little ovaries a small dose of valium to get them to chill out a bit? So, here's hoping that I can magically keep my estrogen low and keep the gumballs in the machine until the proper time comes when they will be emptied.
Stay tuned!
When I awoke this morning not feeling well I just assumed that the medication was kicking my butt. I had my usual ultrasound and blood work this morning and I originally had plans to drive to Fort Collins today but I was so nauseous that I decided to stay in town for the day. Later this afternoon I received a call from Dr. Surrey's office stating that I was beginning to hyperstimulate and that they needed to change my medication. They have since pulled me completely off the Lupron and Gonal-F and started me on a new medication called Cetrotide. The Cetrotide is supposed to prevent an early release of my follicles and help control my estrogen levels. I was given two doses and now I just need to hope and pray that things stabilize in these hyper little ovaries that I have.
A part of me isn't surprised by any of this considering I've always been one to progress at a hurried pace. I actually consider Alabama's "I'm In A Hurry" as my personal theme song for how I live my life. Goodness, maybe I just need to give my little ovaries a small dose of valium to get them to chill out a bit? So, here's hoping that I can magically keep my estrogen low and keep the gumballs in the machine until the proper time comes when they will be emptied.
Stay tuned!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Hello Denver!
I can not believe the time has finally arrived and I'm now in Denver! Actually, I've been in Denver since Thursday and so far things are progressing well. Jim was here for the first few days but he traveled back to New Mexico yesterday. With Jim's departure I'm a little lonely and I feel like I'm making this journey on my own...sigh! I just need to keep reminding myself that the loneliness is a small price to pay and that I need to keep my head up and move forward.
Anyhow, I've been trucking right along thus far on my injections. My stomach is looking like a war zone, but that's just part of the process. Currently my regimen consists of Lupron, Gonal-F, and Menopur, which are actually different medications than what I used in the past. My ovaries like the medication too and they are responding well. So much so that my doctor has had to back down my meds to slow the growth. I have roughly 20 follicles growing at this point and I recently decided that I'm a human gumball machine. I have 13 follicles on my right ovary and 7 on my left ovary. Only time will tell if all of those follicles will be harvested or not. It's not uncommon for some of those follicles to flat out stop growing to make room for the other follicles. Retrieval/emptying of the gumball machine is tentatively scheduled for Friday and transfer should follow five days later, or at least a 5 day transfer is optimal. All of which will depend on how well the follicles divide after insemination.
I've been going to the doctors office almost daily to have my follicles monitored and blood work performed. The office staff is fantastic and they've been very friendly/supportive to both myself and Jim. I'm still shocked at the number of patients they have, their lobby is always packed. I can't help but think that there is an infertility epidemic in this country. You know there is problem when you're driving on the interstate and you hear a commercial on the radio for a respective infertility office, or see a billboard for an office. And I find myself wondering, is there a problem, or are they desperate for new patients? Anyhow, just a few random thoughts that run through my head.
Anyhow, I've been trucking right along thus far on my injections. My stomach is looking like a war zone, but that's just part of the process. Currently my regimen consists of Lupron, Gonal-F, and Menopur, which are actually different medications than what I used in the past. My ovaries like the medication too and they are responding well. So much so that my doctor has had to back down my meds to slow the growth. I have roughly 20 follicles growing at this point and I recently decided that I'm a human gumball machine. I have 13 follicles on my right ovary and 7 on my left ovary. Only time will tell if all of those follicles will be harvested or not. It's not uncommon for some of those follicles to flat out stop growing to make room for the other follicles. Retrieval/emptying of the gumball machine is tentatively scheduled for Friday and transfer should follow five days later, or at least a 5 day transfer is optimal. All of which will depend on how well the follicles divide after insemination.
I've been going to the doctors office almost daily to have my follicles monitored and blood work performed. The office staff is fantastic and they've been very friendly/supportive to both myself and Jim. I'm still shocked at the number of patients they have, their lobby is always packed. I can't help but think that there is an infertility epidemic in this country. You know there is problem when you're driving on the interstate and you hear a commercial on the radio for a respective infertility office, or see a billboard for an office. And I find myself wondering, is there a problem, or are they desperate for new patients? Anyhow, just a few random thoughts that run through my head.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
$18K Baby
What is the cost of a baby? How much would you pay to have a child of your own? For me that cost is $18,000. Yep, unfortunately today I took out a loan to pay for having this baby. Here I stand at the threshold of the casino with $18,000 in my hand for one shot at creating a life that both Jim and I will be proud of. In a way I’m playing black jack and placing a full bet on red. I worked hard getting myself out of debt and moving away from living paycheck to paycheck, but here I was forced to take out a big fat loan so that Jim and I could realize our dream. That’s a hard bet to swallow and the fact that I have that loan hasn’t been sitting well with me….I’ve even been tempted to pick up a second job to payback that loan. I keep reminding myself that the end result is more important than the cost to obtain that goal, but I’m an accountant at heart and all I see are dollar signs.
It’s not uncommon for infertile women to hope and pray for twins…and I’m no different. Yes, we may be naive about how hard twins or multiples would be in comparison to a singleton. And yes we are fully aware of the risks twins or multiples bring, but I like to call it the two for one special. I certainly don’t want to pay another huge chunk of money to walk this journey a second time.
On a happier note, Jim and I have gotten all of our testing completed and on February 4th we had another phone consult with the doctor to go over the test results and figure out our game plan. Considering my age, everything looks excellent! In fact, most of my hormone levels are better now than when Jim and I did IVF in 2007. I have no explanation as to why my hormone levels actually improved over a three year period. I would like to think that 6 months of acupuncture helped to bring everything back in balance, but I have no way to prove that fact.
Shortly after our phone consult with Dr. Surrey, we also received our official calendar. I’ll be traveling to Denver on March 24th where I’ll be staying for about two weeks. I’ll start my injections here in New Mexico and I’ll even undergo two ultrasounds in New Mexico before traveling to Denver. However, beginning March 24th I’ll need to be monitored on a daily basis via blood work and more ultrasounds. Tentatively we are scheduled for retrieval on March 31st and transfer is tentatively scheduled for April 5th. Of course, depending on how ripe my ovaries become will determine this timeline.
Today I called the office to place my order for our medication. Which means our medication and supplies should arrive next week. I’ll be doing the injections myself again and since it’s been three years, I’m actually a little nervous. Thankfully, most of my injections will be sub-q and not muscular… I’m sure I’ll quickly become a pro again.
Well that’s the latest from Jim and I, things should be relatively quiet until I start my injections in about two weeks. Take care, and please pray for us!
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